As a child I remember seeing the movie “Yours, Mine and Ours” about the blending of two families.  And in the 35 years since that movie, our culture continues to focus on blending…families, ethnic backgrounds, religions, traditions, etc.

Blending, rather than fragmentation, is natural to executive women leaders.  Their inclination always is to be inclusive, build a team, break down barriers, bring people together.

As a business coach, I advised in a  situation where the leadership team included 3 members from the same family and 2 others from outside.  During a management changeover from the founder to a professional CEO from outside the company, the team experienced a blending of sorts.  The leadership style of the new famale leader who also positioned herself as more neutral because she was not a family member, resulted in a profound feeling of team work.

Teamwork results from leadership styles that emphasize the value of thought diversity, blending, rather than homogenuity.  These selfless leadership styles require emotional intelligence and awareness.

In my office and in my bedroom, I have a big overstuffed chair that sits with a water fountain next to it.  And I call this my thinking chair.  The chair plays an important role in my life…it reminds me to sit down and think.  Here’s a few ideas on how to use a ‘thinking chair:’

• confused about a bunch of data that comes your way and how to analyze it – sit in your chair and think it through before you start crunching numbers;
• meditate;
• read – I especially like author Michael Kelly’s mantra to read 10 minutes before bedtime daily;
• plan out conversations that you must handle carefully;
• just take a moment to sit and see what comes to you;
• rest your brain.

Try it.  Regular refreshment will increase your emotional awareness and bring you in touch with your intuition, a key strength for executive women.

Sometimes we want to look to others for the answers and we get frustrated when they don’t provide the answer.  That’s because the answer lies within us.

Executive women who follow their intuition generally find the most emotionally intelligence solutions.  Look within first.

A Business Week special report looked in-depth at the differences between women and men leaders.  (See the article  http://www.businessweek.com/2000/00_47/b3708145.htm).   The articles says that women excel in the skills of mentoring, coaching, conflict management, communicating and providing valuable feedback…all of these skills pointing to the people side of management. 

While executive women do not score higher than executive men in emotional intelligence assessments, they do score differently.   Women tend to score higher in skills like empathy, accurate self-assessment, emotional self-control and visionary leadership while men score higher in personal power, achievement drive and catalyzing change.

My conclusion is that executive women should take pride in their abilities to lead with their heart and put people first.  Their skills sets are in high demand in today’s fast-paced, global business environment.

From where do you get your energy…within yourself,  from other people, nature, the spirit?  And is that positive energy or negative energy.

For executive women, emotional awareness is akin to being in touch with the natural energy flowing through or to you.  I like to spend a couple weeks each quarter analyzing where that energy is coming from.  Interestingly, everytime I feel stuck, it is because I am carrying someone else’s negative energy rather than focusing on the energy that I want.

Here’s an example:  for months I complained publicly about a volunteer role that I played.  The meetings were dysfunctional.  Few volunteers followed through on their commitments.  I was de-motivated by the organization and its processes.  When pondering why a volunteer job took away all my energy, I realized that there was one person pushing my hot buttons constantly.  He was a control freak and he reminded me of the person I did not want to be.  With careful analysis, I made a plan to remove myself from the role.

So as you analyze your life and lifestyle in this new year, focus on what gives you energy and what takes it away.  Write daily on this topic in your journal.  As you more closely monitor your energy, you will gain emotional awareness and confidence to follow your intuition, our best skill as women.

The new year has begun and executive women, professional women, managerial women are all calculating their next move.  And they are likely to go too far in their scheme.

Despite our progress in business leadership roles, we women still want to please…at high levels, at lower levels and with our families and personal friends.  My advice…stop, think, then act.

When you go too far in your leadership, you overwhelm others and make it difficult for them to follow.  For example, if you plan a new year’s kickoff for the company with too many videos, too many inspirational quotes and too many handouts, no one will know where to start.  So make it simple and roll out all your ideas gradually over the year.

Overdoing a task or doing too much also sends a message of low self esteem.  And people don’t follow someone who sends non-verbal this message.  To avoid this pitfall, use the new year as an opportunity to reconnect with your emotional self.  Women with a strong sense of emotional awareness also derive the highest personal power.  A simple exercise is to spend the next 14 days keeping a journal of the emotions felt during the day.  (For a free journalling form, contact me at pam@smartgrowth.com.)

As mother always said when you left for a date, “don’t go too far because you will regret it later,”  so goes the new year.  Don’t give everything away…save some for yourself.  You will feel better about yourself and your work in the long run.

Emotional intelligence in executive women arises from emotional awareness and intelligence.  Self awareness is th first step to work-life balance.

As the mother of high school and college students, I have learned that my children’s growth at this stage comes from tough love.  Letting go is critical to their development and a sign of my love for them.

Sometimes we ‘mother’ others too … our friends, siblings, neighbors…and do not let go when we should.  What or who should you let go today?

Synergy is my favorite word.  The definition quite simply is one plus one is greater than two (1 + 1>2).  What synergy did you create today?

I find two kinds of supervisors…

Those with high self-awareness who understand their unique purpose and help their employees blossom.

And those who do not know themselves well, hoard power, take control of all activities, deman their employees.

Which are you?  Do you know how to get on to the path of self-awareness so that you will be a better manager?

Bliss…can we always have it?  Even in moments of despair I say to myself, “What am I supposed to learn from this particular circumstance?”

When you look at all experiences as learnings, then bliss can exist every day.